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vixaliciousOne of the reasons I haven't really updated my journal lately is because I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed by life lately. It's silly, because this is a great outlet for frustrations, but I haven't felt up to using it. I'm going to try to be better about that.
Some of the reasons I am feeling overwhelmed:
My family:
This has not been a great year for my family. My mom had a stroke. My aunt had a lumpectomy, which led to a mastectomy, which then led - I'm still not sure how - to a ruptured colon. My oldest brother had a bicycle accident that collapsed his lung. My other brother has had some unknown virus that caused him to lose 25 pounds (which he didn't have to lose; I asked how I could get this virus, as I could stand to lose it easily.) Everyone is healing from their calamities nicely, but it's been one thing after another, with a lot of worrying and feeling helpless. And I've spent a lot on flowers.
My job:
I've had a lot of problem sites, with challenging installations, lots of overtime. It's been a rough summer.
My weight:
I've gained about 25 pounds in the last year. I am super unhappy about this - I feel fat and gross and ugly. I know these things aren't true when I look in the mirror, but it doesn't stop from me from feeling them. Luckily I'm not carrying it the way I did last time I was this heavy, because I am a more active person now, but I do not want to stay this way. I'm trying to diet, but I'll do good for a few days then blow it (usually on the weekends.) I play tennis two or three times a week, but I need to supplement that with the Wii and with the treadmill, and I haven't been able to motivate myself to do so.
My house:
Well, really the yard. After I had that horrid bout of poison ivy, I got kind of scared to go out there. It turned into a jungle. This is one area where I've made some progress recently. I had let the house get dirty, and I've been cleaning. I finally got the yard mowed today - I was going to give up and call someone to do it, but the weather was under 90 today with a breeze, so I sucked it up and spent about 4 hours mowing, weed-eating, and leaf-blowing. I still need to spray for the poison ivy and weeds. I want to buy some sort of sprayer that will be easier to use than the Round Up I've been buying - the squeezy thing hurts my hand.
So these are my woes. They're not the worst in the world, and trust me, I know there's a lot of people that have it worse than me. But they are mine, and they have been making me sad. I'm still getting out, playing tennis, meeting up with friends, etc, but I don't feel like myself.
Some of the reasons I am feeling overwhelmed:
My family:
This has not been a great year for my family. My mom had a stroke. My aunt had a lumpectomy, which led to a mastectomy, which then led - I'm still not sure how - to a ruptured colon. My oldest brother had a bicycle accident that collapsed his lung. My other brother has had some unknown virus that caused him to lose 25 pounds (which he didn't have to lose; I asked how I could get this virus, as I could stand to lose it easily.) Everyone is healing from their calamities nicely, but it's been one thing after another, with a lot of worrying and feeling helpless. And I've spent a lot on flowers.
My job:
I've had a lot of problem sites, with challenging installations, lots of overtime. It's been a rough summer.
My weight:
I've gained about 25 pounds in the last year. I am super unhappy about this - I feel fat and gross and ugly. I know these things aren't true when I look in the mirror, but it doesn't stop from me from feeling them. Luckily I'm not carrying it the way I did last time I was this heavy, because I am a more active person now, but I do not want to stay this way. I'm trying to diet, but I'll do good for a few days then blow it (usually on the weekends.) I play tennis two or three times a week, but I need to supplement that with the Wii and with the treadmill, and I haven't been able to motivate myself to do so.
My house:
Well, really the yard. After I had that horrid bout of poison ivy, I got kind of scared to go out there. It turned into a jungle. This is one area where I've made some progress recently. I had let the house get dirty, and I've been cleaning. I finally got the yard mowed today - I was going to give up and call someone to do it, but the weather was under 90 today with a breeze, so I sucked it up and spent about 4 hours mowing, weed-eating, and leaf-blowing. I still need to spray for the poison ivy and weeds. I want to buy some sort of sprayer that will be easier to use than the Round Up I've been buying - the squeezy thing hurts my hand.
So these are my woes. They're not the worst in the world, and trust me, I know there's a lot of people that have it worse than me. But they are mine, and they have been making me sad. I'm still getting out, playing tennis, meeting up with friends, etc, but I don't feel like myself.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-16 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-16 02:59 am (UTC)