I mentioned a while back that I feel sometimes like Twitter has taken over from where I used to post, although honestly I don't think I post less, it's just that because the twitter feed posts here every day, I feel like there's less actual content on my blogs. I immediately came up with a list of things I wanted to post about and then, just as immediately, failed to post about any of them. Now I will attempt to start remedying that.
One of the things I came up with, and that's been on my mind lately, is writing. Writing and Why I'm Not Doing It, to be more specific. I haven't written anything since last November, not even stuff that I just haven't finished really. I have a two-paragraph bandom thing that I think I did in December, but trust me when I say it doesn't count. I could give a million reasons why I'm not writing now - I was burned out by life in December, I've been working on craft projects & stuff around the house, I'm focusing on other hobbies like tennis & drums (haha, yeah, not reall) - but they'd just be excuses.
The real reason is that I'm scared.
I'm scared, because of what I want to write: the novel that I started plotting out last year for the creative writing class that I took. I'm scared, because I honestly think it's the best idea I've ever had, and because writing it means committing to doing something about it when (if!) it's done. I'm scared by the amount of research, the scope of the novel, the amount of work and disappointment that goes into trying to get published. What if I can't do it? What if I do it and it sucks? What if I do it and it doesn't suck? I've sort of worked myself into a tizzy about it, to the point that rather than think about it, I just do other stuff. I've bought some of the books I wanted for research, but didn't read them. I downloaded a free software for writing, but haven't taken the time to read the instructions (although I have actually played with it - it seems... complex).
Also, I still haven't managed to fit writing into my 'at home' activities. It was so easy before to fit it into the 3-5 hours a week I spent on airplanes, away from the distractions of the internet and the rest of the world. Now I am home more, I don't seem to make time for it. Heaven forbid I watch one less episode of crappy TV a week or anything.
So that's what's been on my mind writing-wise. I don't know that this was the most coherent explanation of it, but that's what I've got today.
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