I got a survey this week from the Census Bureau called The American Community Survey. The envelope helpfully let me know that my response was required by law, and that if I didn't fill it out, I could be fined. My first thought was "This has to be a scam." But no, it's actually real. I found a blog that explains it way more amusingly than I could, so I quote:
"Here are some of the highlights. Keep in mind that all these questions are mandatory:
- How much do you make?
- Are you using food stamps?
- Do you bathe yourself, or does someone have to help you?
- Are you having sex with any of the people in your house?
- If so, are you two married, or are you living in sin?
- Did you get her pregnant this year?
- Is she also a grandmother?
- Did she graduate from high school, or is she still in elementary school?
- Is she “ethnic”?
- Is she an illegal alien?
- How’s her English?
- Dude, are you screwing a blind chick?
- Is she a shut-in?
- How many wars has your sex partner fought in?
- Where does she work?
- Does your sex buddy take a ferryboat to work?
- How hard does she work?
- Is the government giving her money?"
It asks things like, how much money did you spend on water/sewer in the last year, so I spent a lot of time looking things up, but I have filled it all in so that I can't get fined, because apparently they can fine up to $5k if you don't do it. Ah, the government. Wonder how much money they wasted mailing out forms? Especially given that this oversteps the bounds of the Census Bureau as defined by the Constitution.